I had a great conversation with my husband's cousin this week. She is having trouble with her son's teacher at school and wondered if I could help her find information about homeschooling. I thought I would post our conversation and maybe it is one you have had or wanted to have. Maybe it has some answers that you have been looking for. Maybe it will just let you know me a litttle better. :P This will be a long post...sorry.


Me -

First, we started homeschooling our oldest (Shelby) when she was in first grade. We had a terrible experience in kindergarten and knew we needed to find something else. The school literally told me that they had my daughter for more hours during the day and knew what was best for her. That didn't sit well with me or Rick.

I think parents don't realize that they have other alternatives to their kids education and feel trapped in government run school systems.

School for Elementary aged kids doesn't take 8 hours a day. Why they are there so long is ridiculous. 1st through 3rd grade generally will only take you around (give or take) 2 hours a day. Some days not even that.

Reading and math are really the only "structured" curriculum you will need to focus on until 4th grade - ish. Art, music, science, and social studies don't need to be "formal" (and I'll get into that later on) I bet there are great homeschool activities he would love to participate in, in your area. Google homeschooling in .....(your town).

There are many learning styles. Spend some time finding out how your son learns. Is he visual, is he hands on, or both. That will help you find a curriculum that works well with him. Curriculum is not "one size fits all" and that is why government schools are failing. (In my opinion of course)

There are a lot of teaching philosophies out there. You can google them and learn more. I'll name a few of them that are popular...
1. Charlotte Mason - hands on learning
2. Thomas Jefferson
3. unschooling
You can also google Homeschooling and you will get a good response of things to look at to help you decide.

We are eclectic. I don't buy into "one size or philosophy" fits all or covers all. We do a little bit of everything. I did a lot of "sampling" when the kids were young and it has served us well. Our oldest (Shelby) is 14 and a Sophomore in highschool and gets straight A's and doing very well. She does online High School (Open High School of Utah) You can google and look at it.

I am also a mom who doesn't like to spend a lot of time on "fluff". If it takes me 2 hours to organize it, it won't get done. So the stuff I use is very easy to use and the planning has already been done. wink.

I loved Miquon Math for 1st - 3rd grade. It is some workbook work mixed with hands on rods that do a great job helping them visualize the math. My kids learned to do math in their heads this way and loved it.

English at this age is mostly reading and reading comprehension and handwriting skills. I am very eclectic in this area. I like "Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons". It does more than just teach them to memorize. I also liked Alpha Omega's language Arts program at this age because it was easy to follow.
Handwriting Without Tears - is a wonderful handwriting program.

Science early in Elementary school is very basic. We liked to go to the library and get books to read about bug and animals. Our library usually had programs that were fun to go to. They might even have a homeschool group that meets there. Science doesn't get to involved until 4th grade. Then I LOVE Apologia Science.

Social Studies is what is taught grade 1-3. Usually involves learning about what is around them and what is acceptable behavior. What is the post office and how does it work. How did it get started (Pony express - great books to read or movies to watch), What is a bakery, What do police men do, What are firemen, What are doctors and nurses and what do they do, etc. Lots of "field trips" to museums. This is an area belonging to a homeschool group will be beneficial. They usually have seasoned moms who coordinate wonderful outings for the kids.

Art is easy. I have some great websites to go to. When ever you need a moment to "pee, eat, shower, or even scream" simple art projects keep them "busy" while you take care of mommy.

I have so many ideas from 9 years and three kids. I'd love to help you get started. It seems daunting, but if you know some ins and outs it is a breeze, and will be very rewarding. I love having my kids home. We play, laugh, cry, learn, fight, go on adventures, and my kids are each others best friends.

Her -

Thank you so much! I'm encouraged to do this, but have to admit a little scared. I feel guilty since I was really looking forward to back to school to get a break! Now, I still want the break- but I have to consider what's best for Alek. School starts tomorrow and I'm having a much harder time than he is and I'm trying not to let it show. I'm not prepared to home school yet, but I think I can do it before the year ends.

I love your last statement including the fights, crying- I know that will be there with Alek. It took 15 times to tell him to get in the bath and only when I was upset did he FINALLY do it. I also feel it would be rewarding and it will take discipline on my part to make it successful. (deep breath) I think that's the scariest part. I've been so lazy with a schedule this summer and allowed way too much tv/video games after having a baby in May, it will take serious turn about to make this happen. I have talked to him about mommy being his teacher and he's for it. That's a good sign. Although, I also feel he knows how to work mom. I need to fix the discipline with him and I no matter where he learns first.

That's amazing you figured this all out in kindergarten for Shelby. What were they trying to do that they felt was "best" for her? Did you pull her out during the school year? The school wants me to get Alek tested for ADHD so he can have special help. When he was in daycare- they mentioned ADHD also. I've never tested him. I don't plan to use Ritlin anytime soon, but it scares me. I think Alek just learns different than most. I do need a professional assessment before I bring him home. Not for meds, but to understand his learning style more. Also, I think he just needs an outlet that sitting for 8 hours will not provide.

I love that you have some favorites that will help me get started in putting together a program for him. I've spent hours googling and it starts to feel like I'm going in circles. I'm encouraged that some state homeschooling might work best for a child with ADHD. I thought for sure it would be discouraged. The one on one interaction and also tips for headphones to help him concentrate.

Have you ever joined a homeschool that wasn't LDS? Most groups are christian, but not mormon. I don't think you need to be a member of that church, but I don't know. I haven't found a group to join for activities and that's the hardest part. I do want him around kids. One has a Monday school for homeschoolers and I like that. It's only for 3 hours. I think I know why classes are 8 hours in public- from what I remember there was a lot of get in line, wait for everyone to finish...etc. Not sure how that is really helpful after school- that can be learned at the grocery store! hahaha

When do you start this school year? You are amazing! I know it can't always easy. Although, I can see the that the pay off has many rewards. How often did you think of quitting at first? I'm sure you get very little, if any mom time away from kids. I know when I start most of my prep will be prayer! I am so thankful to have a resource like you to get started. Thank you, again.

Tomorrow, I'm going to let him start public school because i didn't prepare sooner. Ease my way into this by working with him after school and before work to build our niche. Then, pull him out. It sounds like I only have to submit 10 days before I start with Oregon. Although, he's not 7 until the end of November so I might not have to at all. You can see, I still have more research to do. I'm definately going to get the books you've suggested!

How long did it take you to begin from the time you made the decision?

Me -

There were a lot of problems in government school that bothered me and didn't set well with me. Boys lifting her skirt and the teacher telling me to not send her in dresses. (why not teach the boy to keep his hands off my daughter?), my daughter is like me and has a strong personality. Even in kindergarten she didn't take teasing or bullying well at all and took care of it. Usually telling the other kid off. I didn't see anything wrong with that. The teachers told me she had social problems. (I felt like the other kids had the social problems.) Shelby went to a Montessori preschool where they let the kids learn at their own pace. Shelby went into kindergarten reading on a second grade level. When ever she tried to read the teacher told her to stop because the other kids weren't reading yet. So I was working with her at home. 9-11 happened that year. The teacher didn't talk with the parents at all and took the kindergartners to an assembly where they talked about what happened and showed them the memorial service. I went to the school and asked if they were going to show my 5 year old tv programs on cable that they let me know ahead of time so I could come and pick her up. That is when the principal told me he had her longer and knew what was best for her. It took me the rest of the school year to get life in order and have a different plan than send her to school. We looked at private schools, but weren't in the position to do so. We looked at new charter schools, but found them no better than government run schools. I heard from my sister about homeschooling during the second semester. We went to a convention together and I was convinced. Rick said it was up to me and "we can always put her back in if it doesn't work out". I was determined to make it work. I wasn't going to send her back.

We started 1st grade at home. I didn't see the need for her to be "beat up" everyday.

When we lived in Florida we belonged to a Presbyterian homeschool group. I found there that most groups are run by a church and they don't like Mormons. One even asked us to sign a "Statement of Faith" which made us say we didn't believe the Book of Mormon was true. So we walked away. It wasn't until 2nd grade that we found the Presbyterian group and they were wonderful.

We love our Friday "classes" at a charter school here. Art, Piano, Sculpting, theatre, etc. Gives the kids an outlet. Finding a non denomination group is wonderful. Everyone seems to be more worried about their children than religious issues.

I have my own thoughts about ADHD. I certainly am against putting the kids on meds. I feel it is easier for them to label the kids than deal with them. Don't let them put him in a special group. He will get stuck through life as the "special needs" kid. Which is ridiculous. I have 3 kids all different learners. Shelby is advanced. She learns in every style and does it quickly. Then I have Taylor (12) who has Dyslexia and has always struggled with reading and spelling. She probably would have been placed in a special group and not been able to take advanced classes like she is now. I just didn't stress over it and we worked on it, and worked on it. There are people out there who like to judge or label others. Don't let that happen. Taylor can write and tell amazing stories. Her spelling isn't great. But we have spell checker, and I don't stress with her. I just let her learn in her way.

I am not big into nutrition, but I did some research early on about ADHD. I had someone tell us she thought Shelby was and she wanted us to put her on meds. I was a bit offended. But went and did some research on it. Meds couldn't be the only solution. Most kids are "hyper" so I wasn't convinced. Diet plays a big role in all our lives. I don't know anything about what your son enjoys. I would suggest you googling ADHD diets and see if changing some things up helps him out. See if you notice a change. And remember the old adage "Boys will be boys". Teacher have 30+ kids to deal with and it is easy for them to drug the kids than deal with them. Told you I have my own thoughts on the issue. wink.

We start school at the beginning of August. We ease into it. Start with things they like then add a subject each week. We end usually at the end of April or middle of May. Depends on if we took a vacation during the year or not. I have them read all summer.

Prayer helps! I find that my kids listen to me. We have our "family" moments where telling them 3 times isn't enough and I have to yell. Then I've got their attention and they do the work. But generally they know it is important are self motivated. There are great blogs you can follow, too. They talk about homeschooling little ones. Chore charts, school work reward charts, etc. Fun stuff to help teach him to be self motivated.

Something will kick start your path. For me it was the principal telling me he knew what was best for my daughter. When you get the kick you'll move past the fear and just do it.

I'm impressed that you are so involved and worried for your son. They only get one chance at childhood.

Her -

We have a LOT of the same views. I'm so glad we connected. As far as diets for ADHD- I've checked out a few and they are time consuming to eliminate and see what happens. Plus, he hasn't been diagnosed at this point. I try to limit sugar as much as I can for a kid. I still want him to be able to be a kid and how much fun is it to never have a cookie? I try though. I lean more toward natural remedies like calm child. It has herbs and things like that in it. I know my first step is to get him to a doc to know exactly what I'm dealing with. Then apply the most common diets/natural remedies that work. Something as simple as removing gluten might be the trick depending on what it is. You are absolutely right about him being "labeled" so young. I don't like how that can make him feel about himself.

I loved hearing how you got started. I never imagined myself considering homeshool- that was before I was a parent! I think it will take me this school year to get all the bumps worked out and make it work with all life's responsibilities. Balance is the key. I'm planning on working from home soon. I'm checking out all the books you've suggested to start Alek on and I like them. Mostly, I love they are not super expensive like some that are advertised. Is there any tax advantage to homeschooling? From what I've read, it doesn't look like it, but thought I'd ask.

I'm excited when I think of the possibilities when I can balance all of it. I would love some help hunting a group in my area. I'm in wood village- just outside of Portland. My zip is 97060 if that helps. I have found 2 and both are church based. I'm sure there are more but having a hard time sorting through the google search- mostly ads come up for homeschool courses that are costly. Feels like going in circles.
What about this conference you attended that convinced you? Any in my area? It feels like a secret community that isn't made available to the public. Although, I read it's growing 7-12% each year. You were ahead of your time!
I don't want Alek to be labeled. Right now the teacher is having him sit on a bumpy pillow so he can sit still. I'm frustrated and exhausted trying to pull him out. If I start now, I can lay the ground work to be prepared for 2nd grade. I'm learning his learning style this year while he's still in public school. Yes, something will kick start my path. If I get to wits end- I know I can start tomorrow if I absolutely had to. I feel it would be better for Alek if I get all my ducks in a row first. Wish I would have started a year ago!

Me -

I am without words as I read about the pillow! What in the world is that teacher doing? Humiliating your son? Wow!

Now that I got that off my chest....

Here are a few sites I found...don't know if you already saw them or not. But we can start there.

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/regional/OregonSupport.htm

this site has a list of groups in every county. I saw a lot of secular groups.

http://www.midnightbeach.com/hs/Oregon.html

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/laws/blOR.htm
This page has the laws that govern Oregon with Homeschooling.

Oregon has a virtual academy. http://zsem.k12.com/tpages/index2c_dyn.html?st=OR&se=Google&campaign=OR_National_Job_K120928&adgroup=OR_Nat_Virtual&kw=oregon+virtual+academy&gclid=CIKm8YOWm6QCFSE1gwodSxOrEQ

We participated in a K12 virtual academy and enjoyed it. They provide all the curriculum...FREE. For parents just starting out and don't know what they want to do this program is great. They have "teachers" to ask questions and help guide you. Their language Arts is a bit much. But I can help you with secrets to getting it done.

Start with these sites and let me know if you find anything. Let me know if you need more. I didn't want to fill to much space and you get lost. hehehehehe.

I can see how it feels like a secret society. It is just new, and you don't know where to look. Like with most things...It helps to know people. :)

Oh..Conventions are usually held in the Spring and Summer. I'll keep an eye out for you.

Her -

Wow! I love this virtual academy. I tried one called home connections that provided a computer, but it had a 2 year waiting list. I found this out only after I had to wait for the brochure, then I was offered the private program that was 2-3 thousand a year. I was expecting to get the same results but a 6 minute phone call to the right place answered all my questions and makes me feel I could do this in 2 weeks. They also help provide connections with other homeschoolers for socialization. Which was one of my biggest fears to take him out of public school. I started with this link and I'm excited to explore the others.
The pillow!? Thanks for validating my feelings. I left with a heavy heart when I saw that and I'm really trying to stay centered. I had Natalie the end of May and wonder sometimes if I'm still a little hormonal. What bothered me more was when Alek came home from school one day I asked about friends. He was trying to talk to a kid and the teacher told the kid to ignore Alek. I'm sure it was during a time she was trying to teach- he might have been disruptive..... I don't know, but I could see how it made my son feel. He is very active, possibly ADHD, maybe dyslexic.... but he's a very sensitive kid. He's smart, when all the stars are in line and the planets are just right, he lets me get a glimpse of what he's capable of! I feel like I have to weigh the options, lonely or spending the day with negative input.
I'm looking forward to checking out the other websites after work- These are all ones I haven't seen before.
Have you ever thought of writing a book about your journey homeschooling? I think it's hard to find info because at the moment it still gets negative remarks from most that haven't tried it. Just a thought- I've learned alot just by emailing you and I'm sure it could help many that are even wondering if they should.
Thank you, Again!

Remembering the Summer

We are well into our school routine now. The lazy fun daze of Summer are a memory. I came across a few photos I hadn't downloaded from my phone and spent some time smiling remembering the journey.

My younger cousin Stevie, drove out to Utah from Ohio and spent a night with us. We drove up the Canyon and went to Moab with him. So much beauty all around us that we take for granted each day. I don't think I'd seen Steven in over 5 years or so. It was great catching up with him. The kids enjoyed the teasing fest!



Wonderful, sweet Taylor's birthday is during the summer. Her birthday celebration is always part of some other great story. She turned 12. She is so fantastic. Her personality is amazing. Her love for everything is so contagious. She is still a little girl inside. Everything is "new" and "wonderful" to her. She truly Enjoys the Journey.

Each day I am reminded of just how wonderful life is. I look at my wonderful children and I am amazed at how blessed we all are.

Today 9-11-2010...I am so thankful for this wonderful life.